yojimbot (yojimbot) wrote,

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Why did the Devil cross the road?

So, I discovered my install of AOL 8.0 the other day. Eat some list quotes from '99, THE SUMMER KEL AND DANA DID IT! (My apologies to those of you who didn't get a quote. Specifically Bob. You said suprisingly very little.. And when you did, it was always so damn serious. However, I did find a mail from DanaSnores as well as a reference to Stella. It just didn't work in this context.)

"I've also decided this weekend that I am definitely never getting married. I don't have the patience to deal with the same person for the rest of my life. I'm too moody. 'God, just shut the hell up. I don't wanna hear your goddamn voice anymore.' I mean geez, when your just hanging out, it isn't necessary to talk the entire time, is it? Maybe I'm just too reserved or something. Or bitchy, one or the other. ;)"
   - Poliz on marriage.

"Y'know what? It should tell ya something when a few cynical bastards like Mo, Kel and I actually give a shit like this. I wouldn't help a granny across the street, but this I care about. I think that in itself speaks of the importance of this process."
   - Dana, riding a mighty tall horse, on voting.

"It's not like we're gonna elect some loose cannon [who's] out to start wars with people. no one's going for world domination here. Sure, there's a lot to gain [as the president], and I'm sure that weighs on the candidates' minds. But, at the same time, no one's pulling the wool over our eyes. 'Once I'm in, I can launch the bomb from here!' We're not avoiding the next Stalin, here."
   - Usagi's views on the presidency.

"What this generation needs is a good war. Every good generation has had one. We get stuck with these little half-assed police actions. There's nothing better to define a generation than going out and imposing your will upon whole country of others."
   - Kel on foreign policy.

"Dunno about you kids, but I got a tiny cock. =( But my balls more than make up for it, so I'm not too sad. I got some huge nuts."
   - Munk on anatomical pride.

"Speak for yourself!!!! I am inn\ocent, andfuck everyone. and fuck lake placisd... I'm looking b ack on this, and thinking... I couldn't respect this in somone,.. but fuck it"
   - Dana, in a late night listmail, clearly not of sound mind.

"Somethin' about that just seems really screwy to me. [It's] like Ice Cube doin' the theme from Jurassic Park or something. Just can't see it."
   - Mofo on LL Cool J doing the theme to Deep Blue Sea.

"Growl at 'em or snap your head forward a couple of inches really quick. They'll leave you alone. That's what I do. Smiling at them is the last thing you want to do. Smiling is a social lubricant. When people see a smile it puts people at ease and makes them feel more comfortable. That's why I hate people who smile all the time. By smiling you're encouraging them to continue to do whatever they're doing. But by frowning or grimacing, it tells them that you're not friendly. Even babies can distinguish facial expressions."
   - Kel volunteering to never baby-sit my kid.

"I'm not sure whether I should be more afraid of Deth now or less."
   - Ken after his first death metal concert.

"But for me and my buddies camping has always been a time of bonding and booze, mebbe bonding via booze, or mebbe we didn't bond we just drank a lot of booze. But at any rate, we take a lot of sauce ... every meal, including breakfast is cooked with beer ... We always take several guns and spend time shootin."
   - Dana on camping responsibly.

"I think Storm Shadow could would have no problem fighting [while drinking] a Mai Tai. Heck, I bet he could even fight with a pansy-ass white wine spritzer in a Dixie cup. If you don't think he could throw down with a Mai Tai, you just haven't read enough Joe comics or been in enough bars."
   - Kel learning Ken a thing or two about alcohol and G.I.Joe.

I gotta figure out a way to make a book out of this stuff.

9 - 5 last week, 75 - 55 on the season. Arizona, Jacksonville, Indianapolis, Buffalo, N.Y. Giants, New England, Chicago, Denver, Carolina, Atlanta, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia.

Oh, and to answer Aaron's long, lost joke:


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